From: "Fiona McQuarrie" <mcquarra@sfu.ca>
Subject: [Parody] ISU Spin Control
Date: Thursday, February 14, 2002 1:14 PM
THE ISU SPIN CONTROL SONG
by Fiona McQuarrie
(to the tune of Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are")
Can't go changing
Because we look bad
That would hurt our integrity
Hmmm,mmm,mmm
We know a scandal
And this is not one
Despite what everybody sees
We have a rulebook
That we must follow
Except where Balkov is involved
Hmmm,mmm,mmm
We can't explain it
Any more clearly
We'll leave things just the way they are
We are not judges
Of all the judges
Although we put them in their jobs
Hmmm,mmm,mmm
And they are perfect
They're always correct
Unlike you poor misguided slobs
The results will stand
Investigation
Will prove our friends did nothing wrong
Hmmm,mmm,mmm
Those whiny Canucks
Should shut their big traps
We'll leave things just the way they are
[bridge]
We need to know that there will always be
Big bucks for Speedy and his friends
What will it take to make you go away
And bug some other sport instead?
We have to leave now
Ice dance is starting
We have a fix we have to guard
Hmmm,mmm,mmm
If you don't get it, then you're just morons
We'll leave things just the way they are
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