From: "Trudi Marrapodi"
<trudee@clarityconnect.competent>
Subject: SONG PARODY: "The Ballad of John's Kyoko"
Date: Sunday, November 17, 2002 6:22 AM
THE BALLAD OF JOHN'S KYOKO
by Trudi Marrapodi
To: "The Ballad of John and Yoko"
Standin' at my door at 10:30,
Tryin' to get me to take down my pants.
The girl with the cup
Said, "You've got to give it up"--
You know, she didn't even give me a chance!
Gee whiz! You know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be!
The way things were going,
I couldn't make any pee.
Told her that I thought it was too late,
Said, "You won't get a sample tonight.
I don't think I can 'go',
And with your boyfriend in tow,
Well, you really give a hell of a fright!"
Gee whiz! You know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be!
The way things were going,
I couldn't make any pee.
Tried my best but it was a 'no-go',
I said, "It just won't work--can't you see?"
She said, "Don't go mental,
Or dis my credentials!"
I said, "I'm tired of tryin' to give you some pee!"
Gee whiz! You know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be!
The way things were going,
She could not get me to pee.
She said I had to sign a refusal,
I said, "Let's call the drug hotline first."
Well, the phone rang and rang,
Until I finally said, "Dang!
Things have just gone from bad to the worst!"
Gee whiz! You know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be!
The way things were going,
I couldn't make any pee.
Holding in your bladder for those doping tests,
You want to burst at competition's end.
One time, John said,
"Oh boy, I'm near dead--
And you can't take nothing in there
But that little cup--aggh!"
Finally signed the form but I made clear,
I wasn't turning down their demand.
They said, "Next morning is fine"--
But I shouldn't have signed
The damn refusal--'cause now I've been banned!
Gee whiz! You know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be!
The way things were going,
I couldn't make any pee!
Now I've explained it all on my Web site,
I hope you understand I'm no crook.
The USADA
Has gone crazy, I say--
Wanna hear it? I can write you a book!
Gee whiz! You know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can be!
The way things were going,
I couldn't make any pee!
Back to Parody Songs