It's a Scandal! It's a Outrage!
by Erin White

Random commentary from our favorite cast of characters
To the tune of IT'S A SCANDAL! IT'S A OUTRAGE! from Rogers and Hammertein's OKLAHOMA!

BIASED NORTH AMERICAN MEDIA:
It's a scandal! It's a outrage! How a pair gets a medal today!

ELENA & ANTON:
If you make one mistake on Olympic ice
Even though your program's harder, public says, "No dice!"

SPEEDY:
It's a scandal! It's a outrage! When the press all surround you and say:
"You gotta take an' make an honest panel here to judge"

PISEEV:
Learn to lose with honor! It's a xenophobic grudge!

BEZIC:
It's a scandal! It's a outrage! I'm embarrassed for our sport.

ISU:
Where is the scapegoat who will save us
And be the first we can deport?

LE GOUGNE:
Who me?

ISU:
Yes you!

RODNINA:
It's a scandal! It's a outrage! Just a bottle of vodka would do...

ROGGE (to Speedy):
It's a mess, and in less than a day, by heck
You will solve this little problem, or you'll get it in the neck!

THE SKATERS:
It's a scandal! It's a outrage! Any skater will tell you it's true

LE GOUGNE:
I went into the hotel, where Miss Sally Anne I see...

DIDIER GAILHAGUET (hastily interrupting)
They say she made a statement, but she only had to pee!

JAMIE & DAVID:
It's a scandal! It's a outrage! t's a problem that has to be fixed
We gotta start a revolution!

(music stops)
BIASED NORTH AMERICAN MEDIA:
Did someone say "fixed"?

-finis-

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