From: "Trudi" (marrapodwantsnospam@binghamton.edu)
Subject: Song parody found on FSU: "Mr. Cinquanta's Lie"
Date: Thursday, December 19, 2002 1:23 PM
song-parody contest of its own. This is one I found posted there,
written by "Impromptu." (In other words, I cannot take credit for it.)
Here it is, anyway:
To the tune of American Pie . . .
Mr. Cinquanta's Lie
by Impromptu
A long long time ago,
I can still remember when ice skating used to be so clear
And I would set my VCR
To copy every comp so far
And trade for Eurosport from far and near.
But Salt Lake City was a scandal
The scoring system couldn't handle
Le Gougne was so fragile
Her judgment rulings agile.
I can't remember who was fried
When we heard about the mobster's bribe
But nothing makes me satisfied
Since the day ice skating died
We were singing--
Oh why, why Mr Cinquanta's lie
Took the raw score out the back door
And the touch screen is sly
And while Sekret Sources are trading vodka and spy
We say, this is not the way skating thrives
This is not the way skating thrives. . .
Did Vika win at C-O-R
Were dance marks reserved in the bar
Just cause Bev Smith says its so.
And do you believe in double gold
Or was it N.A. media sold
And is the private judging still foretold?
Well I know that it was Six to Four!
Cause Louis counted up the score
But Sasha still did lose
Cause the other marks were choosed
We weren't very happy skating schmucks
With the scoring system run amuck
Now everyone is feeling fucked
The day ice skating died.
Oh why, why Mr Cinquanta's lie
Took the raw score out the back door
And the touch screen is sly
And while Sekret Sources are trading vodka and spy
We say, who gave Sash the five-five?
Who gave Sash the five-five. . .
At SA we saw that times do change
The listed marks looked awful strange
But that's sort of how it used to be.
Miss Galit skated with Sahknovsky
Getting scores the likes they never see
They were in fourth behind HTB.
Oh and while Phil Hersh was talking Kwan,
Miss Galit's face was looking wan.
The netters were bemused - -
No results were refused.
While Igor says these marks are just,
Miez and Andrey softly cussed
And we heard rumblings of disgust
The day ice skating died.
We were singing
Oh why, why Mr Cinquanta's lie
Took the raw score out the back door
And the touch screen is sly
And while Sekret Sources are trading vodka and spy
We say, skating's gonna be in no pryde
Skating's gonna be in no pryde. . .
Oblique Lalique in the Paris mystique
Pigeon tripped the light fantastique
Bird's eye view saw straight line fast.
Naomi might find her chance just passed
Got "tendinitis" and missed the last.
Off-ice now, having fun with acrobat.
While B and A are doing well
If results are fixed, we cannot tell.
And you can't blame ice dance
Cause movement was in France!
As the marks were shown across the board,
The skating has not been ignored
Except the Cup of Russia scored?
The day ice skating died.
We were singing
Oh why, why Mr Cinquanta's lie
Took the raw score out the back door
And the touch screen is sly
And while Sekret Sources are trading vodka and spy
We say, who's it gonna be who decides
Who's it gonna be who decides. . .
On Rec.Sport.Skate they sing the blues
And it's just as sad on FSU's
Long threads that shout our dismay.
Can we go back to happy times?
When skating judges were not mimes.
Right now judging is a random yay or nay.
And on the boards the posters scream
The lists are full, the emails steam
But Federations stay mute
Though this plague is acute
And the three men we despise the most
Cinquanta, Dore, and Gailhaguet
They raised their glasses for a toast
The day ice skating died. . .
They were singing
Oh why, why dear Ottavio's lie
Took the raw score out the back door
And our touch screen is sly
And while Sekret Sources are trading vodka and spy
We say our system's got nothing to hide
Our system's got nothing to hide. . .
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