2000 Worlds
by Ruby Pratka

Sung to: "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

God rest ye merry journalists may nothing you dismay
From what we hear this time last year you had a field day
There was Berezhnaya's drug charge and Volchkova had to pay
Oh, oh tidings of gossip and joy
Gossip and joy, oh tidings of gossip and joy


God rest ye merry journalists, may hotly you protest
When one Russian team was ranked so far above the rest
When Shen and Zhao from China had so clearly skated best,
Oh tidings of gossip and joy, gossip and joy
Oh tidings of gossip and joy!


God rest ye merry journalists, you got a juicy piece
They picked up World from Brisbane and transplanted it to Nice
From then until the end of Worlds the gossip never ceased
Oh tidings of gossip and joy, gossip and joy
Oh tidings of gossip and joy


God rest ye merry journalists, A story this will seem
A nut came in and knife attacked the home town's best pairs team
They still did skate and they won bronze, they still realised a dream
Oh tidings of gossip and joy, Gossip and joy
Oh tidings of gossip and joy


God rest ye merry journalists, what will the readers think
When three skaters on stretchers get led out the practice rink
A pairs team and two dancers to the lowest place will sink
Oh, tidings of gossip and joy, gossip and joy
Oh tidings of gossip and joy


God rest ye merry journalists, now won't this be quite nice
Ukranians on an ugly lift go crashing to the ice
An Italian broke his ankle and his partner payed the price
Oh tidings of comfort and joy


God rest ye merry journalists, what will the readers say,
When a US dancer hits a Bulgarian with his blade
Who ever thought that dance was not so placid and so staid
Oh tidings of gossip and joy!
Gossip and joy, oh tidings of gossip and joy


God rest ye merry journalists, oh now it's time to skate
The standings should be shuffled by the gossip as of late
Some of the top competitors may face a grisly fate
Oh, tidings of gossip and joy, gossip and joy,
Oh tidings of gossip and joy!


God HELP ye merry journalists, as now the readers groan
As when the dust was cleared up and the finals standings shown
Kwan and Yagudin stepped on their perrennial singles thrones,
Oh tidings of the next Cinquanta ploy, Cinquanta ploy,
Oh tidings of the next Cinquanta ploy!

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